Dry Days

It’s been 10 weeks and 3 days since he died. Two months plus one week. 72 days. I watch a lot of TV in the evening. First I read news, or write emails, or call someone. Then other than little visits with my scarce 17 year old son here and there, and doing dinner, I […]

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Silos

“Do you see it, over here, on my side.” I would look at V’s face to see where his eyes were directed and then try to help direct him with a slight nudge to his chin. Then he would get stressed that I wasn’t looking where I was driving, “look at the road”, he would […]

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I’m sorry

You would think, three and a half years would be enough time to get things figured out. Say what you need to say, do what you need to do. I have learned, that no matter how much time you have to say good bye to your loved one, it’s not enough. Knowing your loved one […]

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It Occurred To Me

My brain is flickering, there is static and mixed frequencies, and the signal is weak. 35 days in. My thoughts and attempts at stories are fragmented. I am very sure these posts are terrible to read and not just because they are depressing. I am sure my husband would praise my effort, but he would […]

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There goes Christmas.

31 days in. He is still not here. I have been sick, and felt isolated and down on energy. I have spent way too much time in the house. It’s silly, but I seem to have been waiting for signs of his spirit. It is just so difficult to accept that he is just not […]

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